Simultaneously, female friendships became an object of suspicion, denounced from the pulpit as subversive of the allian between husband and wife, just as women-to-women relations were demonized by the prosecutors of the witches who forced them to denounce each other as accomplices in crime. It was also in this period that the word ‘gossip,’ which in the Middle Ages had meant ‘friend,’ changed its meaning, acquiring a derogatory connotation, a further sign of the degree to which the power of women and communal ties were undermined.
One in three adults wishes Britain still had an empire
What kind of fuckery is this?
Ahhh, white people who love imperialism, colonialism, forcing the Bible and the English language down everyone’s throats! Banning local cultures, traditions, languages, and religious customs. Banning homosexuality and imposing racist, sexist, patriarchal, homophobic Victorian ideals down brown + black people’s throats! Lovely.
Seriously, the whitewashing of history in school is NO joke. No wonder many people are woefully ignorant.
this is why i dont like the british. the british kids i knew when i studied overseas still had plenty of imperial aspirations.
I swear to god tumblr’s particular specialty is coming up with codewords thru which to be as homophobic as possible while somehow claiming sj points
also it has absolutely no fucking idea what privilege is
When bi/pan women say “I’m so gay” or “I’ve got lesbian feels” colloquially about themselves but correct other people when they call us gay or lesbians, it is not “lesbophobia.” It is because our identities our consistently erased based on the partners we date. We correct people…
That’s because we cannot say something like “i have bi feels” or “oh I’m so bi!”, those don’t mean anything. It’s baffling that there’s this thing that is being gay that is so powerful and we relate to it so deeply and feel so represented by it, but then we are told not to use this word. We don’t really have words to express ourselves. I never use the word lesbian to refer to myself because it’s not my identity, but I do use the word gay sometimes; it just feels so appropriate and it’s hard for us to see how we would not be gay (I mean it’s a word that reffers to people of different genders, seems wide-meaning enough). I feel like sometimes there are just no other words to communicate my feelings. Being bi sucks sometimes. And of course we cannot identify as gay/lesbians because actual lesbians would want our hides for that. But at the same time if we never play into the “gay role”, people start treating us as if we were straight and it sucks. I’m just saying I understand why people would want to use words that refer to homosexuals when they are bi. It’s kinda dispairing to have to prove to everyone all the time that you are not down with heteronormativity.
yes all of this.
also, when I say “I have bi feels” I feel like people will interpret it as me being attracted to 2 people of different genders at the same time.
and, I do use “lesbian” when I talk about media and wanting lesbian representation, when I really mean I want representation of love between 2 women, that doesn’t end with one of them dead. I still call movies like “Imagine Me & You” lesbian movies, even though one of the main characters is definitely bi. I don’t think it’s fair for queer women to draw lines between identities when we are expressing the type of love we are looking for. I know many bi women who choose to only date women, yet we are still held at arms length by lesbians because we aren’t really lesbians.I am going to say something, and t may come across as hostile, but it is said with love. If you don’t have the words or language or spaces to cater to your needsyou create them it’s damn hard to eke out a space and dialogue, but at the end of the day co opting that of a marginalized group and actively contributing to harmful behaviours does nobody good. Non Black poc women identified with the Black struggle and started to demand inclusion within Black women’s spaces, that was harmful to Black women so the term “women of colour” was created, do you think it was taken seriously at first? Yet decades later here we are using them. That’s the thing activism is hard it requires energy and strength and the unbridled optimism in a world where things can change. They will only change however if you put in the elbow grease if you create the terns for the conversation you want to have. Think about the origins of womanism, intersectionality, etc inventions of language to further a specific discussion. The discussions a lesbian wants and needs is different from a bisexual w9man and the moment one group co opts the truth of another and bends it to fit their purpose it taunts the original message and ultimately harms everyone. This is why you will never have ‘lesbian’ feelings because you are not a lesbian and it is disrespectful to us to wear our sexuality like a borrowed ill fitting snapback. Make that word that means ‘wow I’m being sexually and or romantically attracted to another woman’ and then fight for people to take you seriously. This is how the world works. Marginalized groups fight back and if works better when they aren’t stepping on the backs of others to do it.
I appreciate your sentiment, but I think it’s important to note that bi women were not the ones who drew these distinctions. Early uses of the word “lesbian” meant “woman who had sex with women,” our groups were one and the same, until the 1960’s when bi women became excluded from lesbianism by TERFs like Shiela Jeffreys. (This is a great post to read that has all the sources about this, make sure you read to the very end though). No one is “wearing your sexuality” because unlike your race, it does not belong to you and cannot be appropriated. Sexuality shifts for many people, and you cannot police how people express their attractions. Also, I think it’s extremely unfair to tell bi women who have stood with and as lesbians since the beginning, who have been pushed out from using a term we helped create, to create a new term. You speak as if bi women have structural power over lesbians, like lesbians need a safe space specifically from bi women. But when was the last time you heard a bi woman say “ugh I’d never date a lesbian, she’s too close minded,” or something of the sort? I hear that as a bi woman my body is corrupted because I’ve been with men and I hear lesbians all the time tell me they won’t date me because I’m bi, like I’m dirty. I don’t need another word that means “same gender attraction to women” because my attraction to women is not different than yours.
i wasn’t going to get involved with this conversation as its something i can see both sides of.
However goldstarprivilege was making a respectful and thoughtful point, and gave some interesting examples about language and marginalised groups. Telling her “No one is “wearing your sexuality” because unlike your race, it does not belong to you and cannot be appropriated.” is gross and out of order. Of course her sexuality belongs to her!
The way you imply that any lesbians trying to define and describe themselves and their own experiance are “terfs” is gross too. And yes i have experienced lesbophobia from bi and queer women, including about being closed minded because i am a lesbian - and i know bi and queer women who won’t date lesbians.
Your body is not corrupted because you’ve had sex with men and you are not dirty - and anyone (including lesbians) who tells you that is wrong. There are many lesbians who have had previous sexual experience with men before coming out as lesbian, and they are not dirty either. However everyone - including lesbians - has the right to set their own sexual and relationship boundaries for any reason. Some lesbians feel - based on experience - that bi women are less likely to shake off the deference to men that women are socialised to have than lesbian women, because of your attraction to men; others want to live life completely focused on women with no complications. That may be harsh, but those are some women’s boundaries.
Terms that come to mind which include both lesbians and bi women are “women-loving-women” and “difemina” (coined by @desidere) or “lbqp women” - i’m not saying any of those words are perfect, just adding them to the thoughtful discussion which goldstarprivilege was trying to have.
Lesbianism is not only seen as biologically unnatural, but, given the male idea of women’s sexuality as simply a response to an aggressive male, it is unthinkable. If there are Lesbians—women who fulfill one another sexually—then perhaps women are not the passive creatures men make them out to be. To recognize the existence of Lesbianism is to admit that women are sexual beings in and of themselves, and that they do not need, though they may want, men in this basic way. Such independence from men is a de facto challenge to the idea that women exist for men. This may be one reason that, although Lesbians have not suffered the police harassment male homosexuals have, Lesbianism sometimes seems basically more threatening to the patriarchy, so threatening that recognizing it, even to punish it, is avoided. Society prefers to remain ignorant of Lesbianism, and innocent of its implications for female sexuality.
Sidney Abbott and Barbara Love, Sappho Was a Right-On Woman: A Liberated View of Lesbianism (1972), p. 20 (via mikroblogolas)
if it doesnt have lesbians i dont care
fuck lesbians and straighties it’s all about the multisexuals from here on out
this post was about lesbians. not about you. if you want to make a post about bi people, do that.little homophobe things: talk about how much you dislike those gays and lesbians, but disguise the raging homophobia by saying “monosexuals” instead! also derail any post you see about lesbians and talk about how you’re so much better than them!
"mass murder is empowering for women b/c traditionally men have been the ones to commit mass murder"
this is the logic under which some people in this world functionAlso known as “lean in”/power-feminism.
I was around 10 years old when I stopped taking swim lessons, and with the exception of mandatory 9th grade swim section of gym class (which I tried desperately to get out of) I didn’t “really” swim again until I was 26 years old.
Because by the time I was 10 years old I knew that fat girls weren’t seen in public in bathing suits and found all sports experiences deeply embarrassing. And because of that I fucking lost fucking 16 years of my life.
And man, if I could go back in time and talk to my not-even-that-fat 10 year old self, I would do everything in my power to convince her she wasn’t fat or that all the rules about what fat girls can’t do didn’t apply to her.
and I desperately to just drown the fuck out of adults who think it’s important public health blah blah to make sure fat 10 year olds know they are fat.
God yes. Or just that the people who make those rules, and enforce them, are big jerks. That this is not how you treat other people. That joy in your body is not about how it looks, or even what it does, and that it’s okay to sweat and jiggle and breathe heavily and pant, and that thighs touching is okay too and there are solutions I’d buy her a good bra, a good swimsuit, and try and shield her as much as possible from people who think that breasts = adulthood.
all of this - and if they had just let 10 year old me wear clothing i felt more comfortable in (for example swim shorts and tank top like the boys could wear, or a one-piece swimsuit with breast support - rather than the high-legged one piece swimsuit with no support that was school issue). and encouraged me in what i was good at (i’ve always been strong, and had good stamina) rather than shaming me for my poor co-ordination.
and all kids sports coaches and PE teachers really need to be aware of the amount of bullying and body-shaming and embarrassment that happens for tween and teenage girls - especially fat girls- particularly in mixed-sex classes.
If women have done 1% of the monstrosities of men, men will make sure everyone knows about it. “people” do this, “people” do that, “its not just men!”
But if women do 99% of the great things that men do, men will make sure no one knows about it. They cut women’s history, they claim “men built everything you see” and if you mention the women involved you’re suddenly taking away from men’s achievements.
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